THE PRG POEM
Steve Wright met the PRG.
“Will we ever get to tea?”
Much information has been furnished
To make their tubers grow ‘in earnest’,
Manipulating the developmental ruler
All for ‘Mr. Average Tuber’.
Make sure warmth is all about
To make the substrate flow to sprouts.
All the future in the starting,
“There is benefit from hand planting”.
Not ‘concurrent’ in PRG tomes
But ‘sequential’, Dr. Jones.
Pre-occupation with your sprout
And what length is hanging out
Is not the way to give you joy.
” Plant unchitted seed my boy!”
And if your ‘source’ is not what you need
Send away for some more seed.
You don’t know how to make spuds boil,
Watch the temperature of your soil.
North / South, East / West,
Who can say what is best?
If you’re perplexed (this data’s appalling),
You ask for guidance from John Pawlyn!
CFG, February 1993.
Dr. Christopher Frederick Green
Permanent Reprobates Group
The good doctor has given his best
On the N and the P and the rest;
Now we’ve heard all the spiel
And we’ve had a great meal,
But now we could do with a rest.
Now Steve is in charge of the till
In the bar, and I’m sure that we will
Exceed the presumption
Of liquor consumption
And some of us might get quite ill.
Tomorrow we have to face Blight
Can you think of a more dreadful plight?
And I’m sure that we oughta
Be using more water
If we want to get everything right.
Christine’s told us all about spuds
About ageing and sprouting and buds;
But she’s failed in her task
Because where, we all ask,
Is the up-to-date info on slugs?
“Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better.”
Samuel Johnson, Dictionary of the English Language, 1755
“If a will man begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.”
Francis Bacon (1561 – 1626), The Advancement of Learning
“All the future in the starting”
Dr. Chris Green (1993)
“The good doctor has given his best”
Howard Kirk (2008)
“Intelligence, after all, is always the key to forward planning.”
Herodotus (c. 484–c. 425 BC)
“I do believe, help me to overcome my unbelief!”
Mark 9, 25
“Style through substance.”
Dr. C.F. Green, 3 December 2015
“You are the salt of the earth.”
Matthew, 5, 13
“The early bird catches the worm!”
“To do* or not to do, that is the question.”
*grow, apply, etc – insert as appropriate!
With apologies to Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 1.
“It’s not a question of whether it’s practical. It’s a question of whether it’s beneficial. If it is, you find a way to do it.”
The late Prof. L. V. Vaidyanathan, Professor of Oxford. Prestwold Hall, 1984
“Keep your head in all situations.”
2 Timothy 4, 5.
“Be the Best!”
British Army recruiting slogan
“Nourish us with goodness”
Book of Common Prayer (1662)
“To see the world in a grain of sand”
William Blake (1757 – 1827)
“Wisdom denotes the pursuing of the best ends by the best means.”
Francis Hutcheson, 1725
“No, what I want is Facts … Facts alone are wanted in life.”
Charles Dickens (1854), Hard Times.
“Other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, multiplying thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times.”
Mark 4, 8.